Embarrassing my kids

I was asked the other day by my soon-to-be 15yr old son:

A: "When did you decide to be an embarrassing parent?"

Me: "Ohhh...long before you kids were born."

So there you have it. I'm an embarrassing parent....and dang proud of it I might add.

I thought I'd share some of the embarrassing things I have done, or do, in case I can 'inspire' other embarrassing parents around the globe.

I will start with the fact that I grew up with my own 'embarrassing parents'. My mother would openly sing while we'd be walking around the shops. At one time I was in a little store with my mother while she was singing. We were the only two there along with the lady behind the counter. I told mum to "Shhhhh...don't sing". I must have been 15 at the time. Mum stopped singing and the lady behind the counter said "Leave your mother alone and let her sing." I never again told mum to "Shhhhh".

My mother also likes to use words other than the correct ones. For example: instead of asking for the 'instructions' she'll ask for the 'destructions'. It's not a 'knife', it's a 'Kah-nife'. It's not an 'avocado' it's an 'Ah-vock-a-do'. One of my greatest fears about getting pulled up by the police for speeding or broken headlight or something, is that I'll say "Yes ossifa" because I heard it so much growing up.

My father wasn't exempt either. My father would randomly go and open the front door of the house and YELL "I LOVE MY WIFE!!!". He was well known around the place for his rendition of "The Three Little Pigs". It was just him up on stage without any props or costumes. Ohhhhh everyone would be in fits of laughter. If only we had a recording of it so I could share it with my own children now. There was also the time when we were playing  Blind Man's Bluff  one FHE. My father always thought it funny to pretend to be and pretend to sound like mum to throw the person who was blindfolded, off. This one night he went even further and went and threw on one of mum's nightgown's so that if he was 'caught' he might be able to confuse the person even more and they really might think he was mum. But wait, there's more....the room we were playing in was the front room by the front door. Beside the front door was a window so we could see who was at the door. This meant whoever was at the door could see us. On this particular night dad decided to be even funnier and climb on top of the filing cabinet, in full view of said window, while wearing my mother's nightgown. We were in full swing of the game and didn't hear the first knock at the door but we surely heard the second one. Yup....someone from around the neighbourhood had come to speak to dad about our dog. We were all in fits.

I'm thankful for my 'embarrassing parents' and the wonderful memories they have created for me. With that in mind, of COURSE I wanted to be counted as one of them when my own children started coming along. 

When my oldest was in grade 7 (schools over here go 1-7 and 8-12) and lined up with her entire grade level to go on a field trip I did what I though all parents would do and YELL out from across the road "Have fun S!! 'Member mummy loves you. Have a good time. Love you. BYE....." 

When my children have gone on camping trips or conferences of any length (anything from three nights to two weeks) I generally run along side the bus waving and blowing kisses while pretending to cry that I'm going to miss them. Yes, even when my son went on his grade 12 ski trip. Of course when they get home and off the bus I'm there again yelling their name while running up to them telling them how happy I am and how much I missed them.

When my daughter was in grade 8/9 she begged me NOT to beep the horn or yell out when I dropped her off at school. Which of course meant ALL of us in the car wound the windows down and yelled out to her. It wasn't long after that when she said it didn't bother her anymore because all the other kids around, had parents too. It's a good thing because for her 16th birthday I printed off photos of her as a baby as well as a couple of recent ones, and plastered them on the fence across the road from school so EVERYONE would see them when they came out. There were balloons and streamers as well.


When my oldest son M started high school (which is grade 8 over here)I told him that if he didn't kiss me goodbye when I dropped him off at school I would go after him. He tried it one day in his first year. He knew full well I couldn't keep up with him. He jumped out of the car with a huge grin on his face and took off. I got out of the car and walked in the direction he ran. He and his friends would bob their head from around the corner of buildings and give me a huge grin before taking off again.

I proceeded up to the office and asked them where his first class was. I made my way down there where he realized he'd been foiled. He tried to get past me. I said to him "You can either kiss me on the cheek HERE or I'll go to the front of the class and tell everyone why I'm here." He knew I'd do it...so he gave me my kiss on the cheek and ran into class.


While in his last year of school he tried it again. I was wearing mismatched clothes, a robe and slippers to drop him off. He knew I wouldn't walk around the school grounds to find him dressed like that. He jumped out of the car with a grin on his face. I knew that he was gonna take off.....only this time he jumped the fence. I jumped out of the car and YELLED as he ran through the throngs of kids mulling around the front of the school..."M......... C........ YOU GET BACK HERE AND GIVE YOUR MOTHER A KISS!!!!!!!!!!" He just kept on running and grinning. We had a good laugh about it when I picked him up. He told me all about the comments the kids at school were making about it. 

One day while I was up at school I walked past a child's classroom. He was in grade 4 at the time. I knocked on the door and the teacher asked "Can I help you?". I said "No. I just wanted to tell everyone that I love Ch....." He grinned and shook his head.


Not all children can be as accepting to these kind of actions. I have one child who I can not be so bold with and I know the boundaries. Use your 'embarrassing skills' wisely and not in a hurtful way.


I have found on the internet that there are sites dedicated to us 'embarrassing parents'. One site suggests a list of things that kids find most embarrassing:

Teenagers' top most embarrassing parent behaviour:

• Shouting or telling them off in public
• Treating them like a child
• Trying too hard to be cool in front of them and their friends
• Wearing embarrassing/uncool clothing
• Telling bad jokes in public
• Shopping at uncool shops
• Calling them by their nickname in public
• Singing in public
• Talking to their friends
• Acting like a teenager in public
• Kissing them in public
• Dropping them off or picking them up from outside school
• Getting out the photos of them when they were a child
• Dancing in public
• Telling stories about when they were a child
• Hugging them in public
• Talking to them in public 

They also suggest ways to be seen as a 'cool' parent:

How to be a cool parent

• Treat you like young adults
• Give you space/not fuss when you have friends over
• Let your friends hang out at your house
• Treat you to nice things, e.g. clothes, holidays, meals out, etc
• Offer lifts to you and your friends

 After reading this list I believe one can be BOTH and I look forward to the day when my children have their own children and join the ranks of 'embarrassing parents'.

Old Time Cooking

When I was growing up I don't think I ever had a doughnut. Did I even know what they were? Probably not. Did I miss out by not having them? Heavens NO. We had something just as wonderful. We had 'Puftaloons'.

What are puftaloons? Well they are fried bits of dough smothered with golden syrup...or honey.

Here's the recipe:

Puftaloons

2 Cups S.R. Flour
1 desert spoon butter
¼ Teaspoon salt
¾ cup milk
Oil for Deep Frying

Combine flour and salt in a bowl, rub in butter, make a well in the centre and mix in milk to make a soft dough.

Turn out on a lightly floured board and kneed lightly until smooth. Roll out to 2 cm thickness, cut into rounds with a scone cutter (about 3cms diameter).

Heat oil in a large thick based frying pan and gently fry until puffed, golden and cooked through turning as you go. Drain on paper towel. Serve hot with honey or Golden syrup or roll in a mixture of cinnamon and sugar.

Note: Could make savoury ones with bacon and cheese.

Yummy Salad

Last night I was over at my mother's place for dinner. She has the incredible ability to throw things together and have it turn out delicious. Me? Well I don't have that ability. It might have skipped a generation.

Last night's dinner was certainly no exception. When I first arrive mum is still working in the kitchen so I offer to help her....I'm a good child. There's a bowl of sliced mangoes on the table (they have had a bumper crop of mangoes this year...YUMMO!!!).

Next thing I know mum is adding onion and celery to the mangoes!! My first thought was 'SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Which lead to me making a comment about it. I sucked it up and remembered that mango can be used with other things besides desserts or by itself.

Of course the salad was one of the most divine things I've ever eaten in my life!! There is no way I'd ever be able to afford to eat something like it at a restaurant because it would be in such a swank restaurant I couldn't afford the free bread!!!

So here's what mum threw in the salad.

6-7 mangoes diced
2 small onions, finely diced
2 stalks of celery, finely diced
red capsicum (bell pepper) and green capsicum (bell pepper), finely diced (was just whatever was leftovers in the fridge so it wasn't much.)
2 carrots, finely chopped
cheese cubes
Seedless grapes, halved
dressing was some of Paul Newman's Ranch dressing...and a little cream

Try it...you'll like it I promise!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas 2009

It's boxing day now but oh what a lovely Christmas we had. The fact that money played a very little part made it even better.

You see, we couldn't afford to buy any presents for each other this year. Sometimes life is like that and that's OK. We've lived through this in the past and survived and I'm sure we'll live through it again sometime in the future. There's many things you can do without money. My clever niece made her husband and her brother a tie made out of duct tape. They looked really good. We could have made something for each other or we could have given coupons but I came up with an idea that was totally 'It's the thought that counts'.

I had the children go through the advertising catalogs and choose things for each other (and mum and dad) that if we had the money we would have bought.

My husband was feeling very bad about not being able to have gifts this year. I kept telling him that the kids are fine with it. He said that they were only fine with it because they had no other choice. I tried to reassure him that our children were not like that at all.

Anyway...Come Christmas morning there were lots of little white envelopes under the tree. There were even some for our guest we had come over for breakfast. As it turns out this will be one of the most memorable Christmases EVER. Aaron (14yrold) gave Michael (18yr old) a pork roast. Well we were in fits of laughter and that pretty much set the tone for the day. Not only did Michael get pork but Sarah (19yr old) gave our visitors pork as well and Michael gifted Sarah Bacon!!! Can you see a theme here?

I got given 'wooden flooring' from Sarah. My kids know how much I'd love to have wood floor instead of carpet. I also got a big screen TV...I mean a BIG screen...along with a new computer with a nice big monitor. All in all we ended up with three big screen TVs (mine was the biggest of course) and three computers. Someone got insect repellent while someone else got deodorant.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year...." and presents...although very nice....didn't make it 'wonderful' this year. It was so enjoyable I'd be happy enough to make this a new family tradition. Just think of the money we'd save.

May 2010 bring us all more harmony and love.

Sisters in Zion

I LOVE my sisters. One of my favourite things to do is to just spend time with my sisters. There’s no agenda. Just get together to talk. Whenever we’re together you can be sure there will be lots of laughing. It can be a great therapy session.

People who don’t know me have come up to me and said “You have to be a Leneham. You girls all look like each other”. I remember one friend saying that although he can tell us apart, if he were to try and pick who is who simply by listening to us he wouldn’t be able to. So we must sound similar too.

I LOVE my sisters but I want to talk about my OTHER sisters. The rest of you!

Sisters like Kirsten F. We were pregnant at the same time with our third child. We served in Primary together. We have laughed and we have cried together.

* Kristie G. and Alison B. we go WAY back. I was their YW’s leader. They threw me a surprise party when I turned 21. We would have so much FUN on camps together.

* Lynda I. I found out that she was baptised by someone whose music I have loved for over 20 years now. I love to be able to share that with her.

* Sis Palau....If you’ve never had a Sis Palau hug then you’re really missing something.

I know some INCREDIBLE women of FAITH who are an example to me. Nicky M., Roslyn T., Cheryl E., Wilma M., Theresa F., Leanne G., Louise M.. Just to name a few. Some of these women probably didn’t even know that I have watched them over the years and admire them. Their testimonies and continued service strengthen ME.

I LOVE being with YOU! I don’t go to the Relief Society retreats so I can stay up all night....because I DON’T like to...I love my sleep and my own bed too much. I just LOVE to be surrounded by my SISTERS in the gospel. I don’t go to ‘midnight madness’ or ‘super Saturday’ because I need more stuff around the house...NO....I go to be with YOU.

When I have impressed my husband by doing something he didn’t think I was able to do I love to break out in song and sing “I am woman hear me roar”. I really like that song. I guess it would be the woman’s anthem out there in the world.

Listen to the words:

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

Now compare it to another song about women:

As sisters in Zion, we'll all work together;
The blessings of God on our labors we'll seek.
We'll build up his kingdom with earnest endeavor;
We'll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak.

The errand of angels is given to women;
And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim:
To do whatsoever is gentle and human,
To cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

How vast is our purpose, how broad is our mission,
If we but fulfill it in spirit and deed.
Oh, naught but the Spirit's divinest tuition
Can give us the wisdom to truly succeed.

While Helen Reddy’s song is powerful in showing that a woman can do anything in an “In your face” kind of way, ‘As sisters in Zion’ shows there is more to being a woman. It involves tenderness and ‘the errand of angels’ as we seek the blessings of God and are tutored by the spirit.

This song we love and know so well, was first published in a Relief Society publication back in 1874 as a poem. There are ten verses in all. The first and the last are the same.

Two verses that are fun:

2 We’ll turn from our follies, our pride and our weakness,
The vain, foolish fashions of Babel despise;
We’ll seek for the garments of truth and of meekness,
And learn to be useful and happy and wise.

3 We’ll wear what is sensible, neat and becoming
The daughters of Zion—the angels of light;
We’ll work with a will, while the angels are scanning
Our aims and our actions from morning till night.

I think the best three verses were chosen.

It was written by Emily Woodmansee. Emily and her sister Julia were part of the Willie handcart company. Emily walked all the way while Julia wasn’t able to and was carried in a handcart. Emily’s first husband deserted her and their two children. She later married again and had a further 8 children.

Janice Kapp Perry was asked to put the three verses we know, to music so it could be included in the 1985 hymn book. So now we have this beautiful hymn.

I have loved Relief Society since I was a little girl.

I grew up attending midweek activities with my mother. I was happy when I was home sick from school on the day that Homemaking was on. I’d be playing in the nursery area and I’d hear the women talking and laughing. I’d hear plates knocking around. I loved it.

There’s not too many here who would remember the bake sales and the bazaars that the Relief Society would put on in order to raise money for the ward budget. I remember sitting in the little booth in the shopping center car park while the sisters sold the goodies. I loved being around the Relief Society sisters even back then.

When I turned 18 it was not a problem to be in Relief Society. I LOVED being there.

I love to be numbered among you. Any opportunity that is mine that I may serve you, I am happy to do so.

Back to the hymn.

Although I could spend a whole evening on discussing this hymn bit by bit. Tonight I’m just going to pick out a couple of my favourite parts.

We’ll start with:

The errand of angels is given to women;
And this is a gift that, as sisters, we claim:
To do whatsoever is gentle and human,
To cheer and to bless in humanity's name.

Oh my goodness! Are these not the most beautiful words to be spoken about women?! I’m sure we can all think of women who have touched our lives. Who have been on the errand of angels and have been there for us when we needed them the most. Whether it’s a meal or help doing the dishes. It could even be a walking buddy or my favourite....someone to sit and talk to. Regardless of how big or small. You sisters have been angels to someone at some time. You have cheered and have blessed and I thank you.

Sister Hinckley has said:

“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, Wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, Perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking the kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenck’s lawn.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone else’s garden.
I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and Tears of a friend on my shoulders.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

The women who founded the Relief Society consisted of eleven married women, two widows, six unmarried women, and one whose marital status is unknown. They ranged in age from three teenagers to one woman in her fifties. They were all converts, and some had been converted when they were very young. They lived in different sections of town and in varying economic circumstances.

Our Stake is like that first Relief Society-We are a diverse group of sisters. Coming from different parts of the world and different family backgrounds. Though there are differences we remain sisters in Zion.

Elder Faust spoke to the Relief Society sisters back in 2002 and had this to say:

“I believe the four great enduring concepts of this society are:

First, it is a divinely established sisterhood.

Second, it is a place of learning.

Third, it is an organization whose basic charter is to serve others. Its motto is “Charity never faileth.”

Fourth, it is a place where women can socialize and establish eternal friendships.”

Which leads me to my most favourite part of the song. The very beginning.

“As sisters in Zion, we'll all work together”

We ARE sisters. And I love when we work together.

Elder Faust spoke of the socializing and eternal friendships that can be made in Relief Society.

I have a cookbook that is well worn. It's pages are falling out and it's covered in the ingredients that have been used in the recipes over the years. I was asked by the RS presidency to put together a ward cookbook back in 1992. I was a little taken aback by the request but I had great response and terrific support. In fact I did very little except come up with how I wanted the book to be and what I wanted in the book and the sisters ran with it.

I love this book NOT because I had anything to do with it or that I have recipes included. No...I love this book because I see the names of the people who submitted recipes and I think about them and ask that question...”Where are they now and what are they doing?”

These sisters were an important part of my life and learning as a young wife and mother. They helped me when my children were sick and when I was sad and lonely. They helped as I grew in the gospel. I LOVE these sisters.

In D&C 130:2 we read “that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.”

Sis Parkin said: “Whether we serve in Primary or Young Women, whether we're active or less so, whether we're married or single, whether we're spring chickens or fall hens, we all belong to Relief Society. We need your voices, your feelings, your hearts. Relief Society needs you. And you know what? You need Relief Society. When you don't participate, you're depriving yourself and you're depriving Relief Society.”

Earlier this year I spent a great deal of time with a sister I’d known MANY years ago when I was just a child. This woman scared me. I didn’t like her. But this year we talked friend to friend. It was a special experience for me. And just a few months ago I got to have lunch with her daughter (we were Laurels together). I mentioned this to my friend and said I could not believe the change in her mother. Her daughter also recognized this change and said “You know what happened? She started going to Relief Society.”

The theme of this fireside tonight is: Hearts knit together in faith.

We need each other. As in knitting the yarn becomes stronger, so do we as we join together. The different colours and patterns of yarn knitted together makes for a beautiful object. Our Relief Society too, with all the differences we have, when knitted together in faith, is a beautiful thing.

I look forward to the eternities where we can enjoy our continued sisterhood only with the eternal glory mentioned in the Doctrine and Covenants. When we can sit down together in the eternities and reminisce about the times we had together here on earth.

It is my prayer that we will ever remember that we ARE sisters in Zion and let’s all work together. And in doing so our hearts will be remain eternally knitted together.