Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
July 27, 2011
December 5, 2010
Babies don't last but dishes...and laundry do
I loved having little ones around the house. I loved getting on my hands and knees and playing games with them. I loved when they played outside and came in covered in dirt. (I always believe a dirty child just means they've had some great fun) I loved singing silly songs with them wherever we were...in the supermarket....in the car....walking down the street.
What I didn't enjoy was doing housework. Trying to keep up with laundry, clean walls and windows or even with what is in the back of the fridge. Never was any good at it.
I remembered a saying that was on the wall of our house while I was growing up and it fit perfectly. "My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy". It is what I lived by. If anyone came over to see my house they would be sorely disappointed but if they came to visit me then they'd leave feeling loved and lighter, having laughed much.
This brings me to one of my favourite poems. It is by Ruth Hamilton and I have loved it since I was young. The title suggests it's for a mother with a good number of children but I think a mother with even one child can appreciate the sentiments.
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
What I didn't enjoy was doing housework. Trying to keep up with laundry, clean walls and windows or even with what is in the back of the fridge. Never was any good at it.
I remembered a saying that was on the wall of our house while I was growing up and it fit perfectly. "My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy". It is what I lived by. If anyone came over to see my house they would be sorely disappointed but if they came to visit me then they'd leave feeling loved and lighter, having laughed much.
This brings me to one of my favourite poems. It is by Ruth Hamilton and I have loved it since I was young. The title suggests it's for a mother with a good number of children but I think a mother with even one child can appreciate the sentiments.
Song for a Fifth Child
- by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
November 23, 2010
Role Model Parenting
Role Modeling:
I tell my children, clean-up their room and they look at my garage. I tell them not to drink and they look at my eyes when I come home from a party. I tell them to be honest, I have an escort radar scanner in my car and my tax return shows 'zero' income for the third straight year. And so there are those who leap all over the place pulling hair from their head and the employers tell their employees and the leaders tell the children to 'look at their parents'.
What good does it do to preach to someone
when the children look at their parents and say
"I'd rather watch a sermon than hear one, anyday,
So please my loving parents let your life show me the way
For I am but a mirror of how you live today.
Dad, I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding of how you act and live."
Hey mum. Hey dad. Hey manager.....
I'd rather watch a sermon then hear one any day."
What were you going to tell us dad about the psychology of winning? I replied 'Nothing, I was going to go clean the garage." I don't tell my wife to tell people on the phone I'm not in. No more 'National Enquirer' for me. No fad diets, gossiping, etc.
Author: Unknown
Author: Unknown
If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again:
I tell my children, clean-up their room and they look at my garage. I tell them not to drink and they look at my eyes when I come home from a party. I tell them to be honest, I have an escort radar scanner in my car and my tax return shows 'zero' income for the third straight year. And so there are those who leap all over the place pulling hair from their head and the employers tell their employees and the leaders tell the children to 'look at their parents'.
What good does it do to preach to someone
when the children look at their parents and say
"I'd rather watch a sermon than hear one, anyday,
So please my loving parents let your life show me the way
For I am but a mirror of how you live today.
Dad, I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding of how you act and live."
Hey mum. Hey dad. Hey manager.....
I'd rather watch a sermon then hear one any day."
What were you going to tell us dad about the psychology of winning? I replied 'Nothing, I was going to go clean the garage." I don't tell my wife to tell people on the phone I'm not in. No more 'National Enquirer' for me. No fad diets, gossiping, etc.
Author: Unknown
The Little Chap Who Follows Me
A careful man I ought to be,
A little fellow follows me,
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he'll go the selfsame way.
I cannot once escape his eyes,
Whate'er he sees me do, he tries;
Like me, he says, he's going to be,
The little chap who follows me.
He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine
The base in me he must not see,
The little chap who follows me.
I must remember as I go,
Through summer's fun and winter's snow,
In building for the years to be
The little chap who follows me!
A little fellow follows me,
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he'll go the selfsame way.
I cannot once escape his eyes,
Whate'er he sees me do, he tries;
Like me, he says, he's going to be,
The little chap who follows me.
He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine
The base in me he must not see,
The little chap who follows me.
I must remember as I go,
Through summer's fun and winter's snow,
In building for the years to be
The little chap who follows me!
Author: Unknown
If I had my child to raise over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
Diana Loomans
Diana Loomans
June 23, 2010
Family Home Evening a.k.a. FHE
Last night for our monthly Relief Society activity we went over Family Home Evening helps. We first spoke about all the helps available for FHE lessons. I love searching the internet for FHE lesson that have everything you need. Here are a number of lessons that I have found helpful over the years. I am very thankful for the clever people who are good enough to share their talents with us.
This link has Ten lessons that are based on Gordon B. Hinckley's book "Standing for something". They include topics such as 'Love', 'Gratitude', 'Civility' and more.
This site has 14 lessons you can download that go along with the Gospel Principles book.
This is a link to LDS Living which has many, MANY wonderful pdf files to download.
After the lesson we love playing games. One of our family favourites is 'Don't Eat Pete'. Just go here and print off a coloured or black and white version of the game, buy a bag of M&M's or smarties and play. (instructions are included on the game)
Here's another version of the game for the older kids...it has more boxes.
Other fun games:
1...2...3 WHACK
This games involves three players...a wrapped lolly/candy and a rolled up newspaper (you can decide the thickness). One person holds the newspaper. Another one holds the candy behind their back and chooses which hand to hold/hide it in. Then they bring both hands in front of them for the third person to choose which hand is hiding the candy. The person chooses which hand they think the lolly is in simply by touching the hand. If they guess correctly they get to keep the candy and someone else gets to play the game. If they choose incorrectly the person with the newspaper WHACKS them. It's all good fun...I promise.
TREATS:
One of the most important things with FHE is that there is ALWAYS a treat afterwards. Sometimes we've jumped in the car and headed to McDonalds for a .50 cent ice cream. Other times I've been more prepared and actually made something for the evening. Here are some recipes that are quick and easy.
One gal last night brought along something she called 'Lolly cake'. Apparently its a real treat in New Zealand. I found a website that gives the 'history' and includes a recipe of this yummy (and oh so colourful) treat.
A treat that has always been a hit in our house...and with the kids in the neighbourhood, is Sherbet (a.k.a. Pixie Sticks). It's a powdered candy that is usually used with licorice sticks or lollypops/suckers.
Fizzing Sherbet Powder (Candy Powder)
Ingredients
1 1/2 cups icing' sugar (confectioner's sugar)
1 teaspoon bi-carb (baking soda)
1 - 2 teaspoons citric or tartaric acid
1 - 2 packets of jelly (jello) crystals OR 2 tablespoons any flavor powdered drink mix (kool-aid, tang, etc.)
Sift all ingredients into a container. Then you can add small amounts (maybe 1/8 cup) to a sandwich bag or even a cup. Give them a lollypop and ENJOY.
Another treat that was shared was homemade chocolate. I grew up on this and really enjoy it.
TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOCOLATE:
250g copha (My American friends will find something called Palmin. Probably at a health food store)
1 cup pure icing sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup
Sift icing sugar, cocoa, powdered milk. Melt copha over gentle heat, add to dry ingredients. Mix until smooth and thick. Pour onto a cookie sheet covered with baking paper.
I like to add coconut that I've roasted or raisins or even rice bubbles for some variety.
I'd love to hear about your FHE treats and games so please share.
This link has Ten lessons that are based on Gordon B. Hinckley's book "Standing for something". They include topics such as 'Love', 'Gratitude', 'Civility' and more.
This site has 14 lessons you can download that go along with the Gospel Principles book.
This is a link to LDS Living which has many, MANY wonderful pdf files to download.
After the lesson we love playing games. One of our family favourites is 'Don't Eat Pete'. Just go here and print off a coloured or black and white version of the game, buy a bag of M&M's or smarties and play. (instructions are included on the game)
Here's another version of the game for the older kids...it has more boxes.
Other fun games:
Hawaiian Charades
This is one of those humorous and ridiculously fun family games that can get a little out of control in the right circumstances. Each person, with his/her back to the crowd, without talking and using only their rear end, must spell a word for the rest of the group to guess.1...2...3 WHACK
This games involves three players...a wrapped lolly/candy and a rolled up newspaper (you can decide the thickness). One person holds the newspaper. Another one holds the candy behind their back and chooses which hand to hold/hide it in. Then they bring both hands in front of them for the third person to choose which hand is hiding the candy. The person chooses which hand they think the lolly is in simply by touching the hand. If they guess correctly they get to keep the candy and someone else gets to play the game. If they choose incorrectly the person with the newspaper WHACKS them. It's all good fun...I promise.
TREATS:
One of the most important things with FHE is that there is ALWAYS a treat afterwards. Sometimes we've jumped in the car and headed to McDonalds for a .50 cent ice cream. Other times I've been more prepared and actually made something for the evening. Here are some recipes that are quick and easy.
One gal last night brought along something she called 'Lolly cake'. Apparently its a real treat in New Zealand. I found a website that gives the 'history' and includes a recipe of this yummy (and oh so colourful) treat.A treat that has always been a hit in our house...and with the kids in the neighbourhood, is Sherbet (a.k.a. Pixie Sticks). It's a powdered candy that is usually used with licorice sticks or lollypops/suckers.
Fizzing Sherbet Powder (Candy Powder)
Ingredients
1 1/2 cups icing' sugar (confectioner's sugar)
1 teaspoon bi-carb (baking soda)
1 - 2 teaspoons citric or tartaric acid
1 - 2 packets of jelly (jello) crystals OR 2 tablespoons any flavor powdered drink mix (kool-aid, tang, etc.)
Sift all ingredients into a container. Then you can add small amounts (maybe 1/8 cup) to a sandwich bag or even a cup. Give them a lollypop and ENJOY.
Another treat that was shared was homemade chocolate. I grew up on this and really enjoy it.
TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOCOLATE:
250g copha (My American friends will find something called Palmin. Probably at a health food store)
1 cup pure icing sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup
Sift icing sugar, cocoa, powdered milk. Melt copha over gentle heat, add to dry ingredients. Mix until smooth and thick. Pour onto a cookie sheet covered with baking paper.
I like to add coconut that I've roasted or raisins or even rice bubbles for some variety.
I'd love to hear about your FHE treats and games so please share.
May 15, 2010
Happiness Machine
Here is a video clip of the Coco-Cola Happiness Machine. It just makes me smile every time I watch it. I would have loved to have been a part of something like this.
ENJOY
ENJOY
December 26, 2009
Christmas 2009
It's boxing day now but oh what a lovely Christmas we had. The fact that money played a very little part made it even better.
You see, we couldn't afford to buy any presents for each other this year. Sometimes life is like that and that's OK. We've lived through this in the past and survived and I'm sure we'll live through it again sometime in the future. There's many things you can do without money. My clever niece made her husband and her brother a tie made out of duct tape. They looked really good. We could have made something for each other or we could have given coupons but I came up with an idea that was totally 'It's the thought that counts'.
I had the children go through the advertising catalogs and choose things for each other (and mum and dad) that if we had the money we would have bought.
My husband was feeling very bad about not being able to have gifts this year. I kept telling him that the kids are fine with it. He said that they were only fine with it because they had no other choice. I tried to reassure him that our children were not like that at all.
Anyway...Come Christmas morning there were lots of little white envelopes under the tree. There were even some for our guest we had come over for breakfast. As it turns out this will be one of the most memorable Christmases EVER. Aaron (14yrold) gave Michael (18yr old) a pork roast. Well we were in fits of laughter and that pretty much set the tone for the day. Not only did Michael get pork but Sarah (19yr old) gave our visitors pork as well and Michael gifted Sarah Bacon!!! Can you see a theme here?
I got given 'wooden flooring' from Sarah. My kids know how much I'd love to have wood floor instead of carpet. I also got a big screen TV...I mean a BIG screen...along with a new computer with a nice big monitor. All in all we ended up with three big screen TVs (mine was the biggest of course) and three computers. Someone got insect repellent while someone else got deodorant.
"It's the most wonderful time of the year...." and presents...although very nice....didn't make it 'wonderful' this year. It was so enjoyable I'd be happy enough to make this a new family tradition. Just think of the money we'd save.
May 2010 bring us all more harmony and love.
You see, we couldn't afford to buy any presents for each other this year. Sometimes life is like that and that's OK. We've lived through this in the past and survived and I'm sure we'll live through it again sometime in the future. There's many things you can do without money. My clever niece made her husband and her brother a tie made out of duct tape. They looked really good. We could have made something for each other or we could have given coupons but I came up with an idea that was totally 'It's the thought that counts'.
I had the children go through the advertising catalogs and choose things for each other (and mum and dad) that if we had the money we would have bought.
My husband was feeling very bad about not being able to have gifts this year. I kept telling him that the kids are fine with it. He said that they were only fine with it because they had no other choice. I tried to reassure him that our children were not like that at all.
Anyway...Come Christmas morning there were lots of little white envelopes under the tree. There were even some for our guest we had come over for breakfast. As it turns out this will be one of the most memorable Christmases EVER. Aaron (14yrold) gave Michael (18yr old) a pork roast. Well we were in fits of laughter and that pretty much set the tone for the day. Not only did Michael get pork but Sarah (19yr old) gave our visitors pork as well and Michael gifted Sarah Bacon!!! Can you see a theme here?
I got given 'wooden flooring' from Sarah. My kids know how much I'd love to have wood floor instead of carpet. I also got a big screen TV...I mean a BIG screen...along with a new computer with a nice big monitor. All in all we ended up with three big screen TVs (mine was the biggest of course) and three computers. Someone got insect repellent while someone else got deodorant.
"It's the most wonderful time of the year...." and presents...although very nice....didn't make it 'wonderful' this year. It was so enjoyable I'd be happy enough to make this a new family tradition. Just think of the money we'd save.
May 2010 bring us all more harmony and love.
February 18, 2009
Be of Good Cheer
I was driving with my oldest son a few years ago and asked him:
"If I die before you have children, what will you tell them about me?"
He told me that was a strange question but he'd give it some thought. Later on he said to me, "I know what I'd tell them. I'd tell them you were funny."
YES!!!!!!!!!! That's perfect.
Last year I also asked my 11yr old son the same question. He said “I’d tell them that you THINK you’re funny.”
I LOVE a good laugh. I enjoy making others laugh and be happy.
Many years ago when I was a young adult, we were up in Redcliffe for a young adult conference. It was early morning...maybe 1am. There was a bunch of people already down at the beach so my sister and I along with our friends, walked down to the beach.
The group was there alright. They were sitting on the cement steps that lead down to the beach. I thought it would be so funny if I was to leap over the stairs, right onto the beach in front of everyone and go "BOO"....or something like that. It was going to be soooo funny. I took a little run off and as I hit the top step to jump to the sand, my feet didn't move. Instead of jumping to the sand I fell SMACK onto the cement steps. Hitting each one on the way down. I was on the beach with everyone around me. I decided that was the funniest thing EVER!!! Although I was in pain I saw the funny side of it and to this day I WISH it was on video so I could see it. I joked about the 'beached whale'. I could hardly breathe. It turned out I had broken a few ribs but it was still FUNNY.
The topic of this evening has been "Be of good cheer".
I'd like to think that I am 'of good cheer' altho my daughter would say that I find the negative and make fun of it. For example:
People tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In my life it has turned out that the light was a TRAIN!!!!!
Life isn't passing me by.....it's trying to RUN ME OVER!!!!!!!!!!!
People have put their arm around me and said "This too shall pass"....I say "So do kidney stones and they're not much fun either!!!!!!!!!"
So I will accept the negative comment from my daughter. I 'embrace' it.
Three years ago I injured my back and ended up in the ER. They told me I had to stay on my back for a week. I couldn't go downstairs. I couldn't sit up. It was awful. The next week I had a little skin cancer removed from my nose one day, that night my husband and I rolled over in bed at the same time and I got head butted right in the stitches. Blood everywhere. He couldn't drive me because he had no licence, (which is a whole other story!!!!!!) so I drove myself up to the ER. Got home at 3am then got up to teach seminary. Another morning I was walking up to the gate at the chapel to unlock it for seminary and fell over scraping my knee really badly and injuring my foot. By the end of the lesson I could barely walk so it was back up to the ER I went. This was all in the space of TWO WEEK!!!!!!!!! I figured there were three options. 1. I was earning Frequent Flyer Miles. 2. One more visit and I’d get a set of steak knives. 3. Legally change my name to Job. Sure I tried to make light of the situation. I tried to crack jokes but I was sick of it.
There was another time that I came home from teaching seminary and on the way upstairs to my bedroom I said to my husband I QUIT!! I quit being a mother, I quit being a wife, I quit the papers (I help one of my brothers with his paper delivery every week for the past 8 years), I quit...I just quit".
Now nothing had happened in seminary that morning or anything that I can even pinpoint to make me really feel that way or lose it. I had just had it. Of course I couldn't quit. I still had to go down and make sure that the lunches were actually done and that they'd leave the house.
Have ya ever had one of those days?
Sister Hinckley had a delightful sense of humor. She said: "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache" (Virginia H. Pearce, ed., Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1999], 107)
There are many things in this life that cause us to feel stress.
Those of us who have children and are racing around doing lunches and chasing kids to get dressed in the morning and then have a child say "MUM!! What about my cooking??!" (For their home Ec. class) or "MUM! I need the deposit for camp today" or "MUM!! Where are the cookies you said you would cook for our class today?" Sometimes happening ALL in the ONE morning.
Of course husbands and children are not the only causes of stress. There are stresses with work, cars, family relationships, drivers that don't use their blinker, telemarketers calling when you are already happy with your phone company etc. There are also those things "in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see" that many of us deal with ALONE.
I think we have all had worries or things that get us down in our lives but the key is not what this is but how we deal with it..
A lot of the time we may not be able to get rid of what causes us to be down or stressful....ie; the husband or the kids. But maybe we can find ways to help us cope with it.
I'm not talking about overcoming depression. That's a whole 'nother ballgame. I will say that if you feel like you are dealing with depression...GET HELP!!!! Medication has been a God send in my life on more than one occasion.
So the scripture goes: D&C 61:36 And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you;
In the Savior's last discourse to His disciples the first thing He said to them was, "Let not your heart be troubled." (John 14:1) And His closing words were, "Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
Let me tell you a story of someone who is an example of being of good cheer.
In 1993 Pres Hunter was giving a talk at BYU. His talk made the news that night. Not because it was unusual for a church leader to speak at BYU but because while he was giving his talk a guy came up to him at the pulpit and grabbed him. The guy was holding a briefcase and claimed there was a bomb in it. He tried to get Pres Hunter to read a letter he had typed but Pres Hunter refused. The 15 - 17 000 people in the congregation began to sing "We thank thee oh God for a prophet". Finally the man was overpowered and Pres Hunter again began his speech about 'challenges'.
He said: " Life has a fair number of challenges in it........ Indeed, you may be feeling that you have more than your share of problems.
"....... we must not walk on our lower lip every time a few difficult moments happen to confront us.
".......I reassure you that things have been worse and they will always get better. They always do--especially when we live and love the gospel of Jesus Christ and give it a chance to flourish in our lives."
HOW can we be of good cheer then? How can we do it when the world around us seems to be caving in?
I'm not talking about being a Pollyanna and acting like everything is wonderful or drawing a big happy face on as if that's going to take care of everything. There is no sin in being sad or crying when things go wrong. I think the problem comes when we dwell on those things and lose sight of the 'plan of happiness'.
Here's a few ideas. Some of them I have tried. Some of them you will roll your eyes at.....just like I did. But who knows...they just might work. What works for one may not work for another.
• Have realistic expectations for yourself—Heavenly Father doesn't expect you to be the perfect. Just that you are doing 'all you can do'.
• Learn to say "NO"
• Put on makeup.
• Paint your nails.
• Shave.
• Stop and look at a sunset
• Own an outfit that just makes you feel like you look good (a special friend of mine has a 'happy skirt'. It's a cheerful colour and she just feels happy when she wears it)
• Have a hobby (sewing, scrapbooking, blogging).
• Read the Ensign and scriptures.
• Attend the temple.
• Dance like no one is watching.
• Join a gym (I did that once but it didn't work. They didn't explain to me that I needed to actually GO and do stuff!!)
• Girls' overnight trip. (I did this with a group of friends last year. It was good for the soul. I hope to do it again soon.).
• Get online. Join Facebook. Add me as a friend!
• Laugh.
• A tub of chocolate double fudge brownie ice cream and two spoons
• Choose your battles.
* Talk it out with someone who can give you perspective, not just sympathy
* Count your blessings - really name them one by one
* Serve somone else - even in a very small way
* pray "When sore trials came upon you, did you think to pray?"
In spite everything which may be discouraging or frustrating, in spite of anything which causes you to feel lonely or overwhelmed .. . . there is hope smiling brightly before us, and angels WILL attend... help and comfort give us to our journeys end.
Many of you have read or heard about Anne Frank who hid from the Nazis with her family in a tiny space. They were in that cramped situation for over 2 years! They had to remain completely silent from 8:30 am to 6:30 pm every day! In her journal she described their hiding place as "a little piece of blue heaven, surrounded by heavy black rain clouds."
I suppose we can't imagine what her circumstances were like, just as I can't imagine your circumstances nor you mine. But I do know that attitude is a choice. We can create and enjoy "a little piece of blue heaven" even at times when we are "surrounded by heavy black rain clouds." So this year let's keep the 'plan of happiness' in focus which leads us to 'good cheer'.
"If I die before you have children, what will you tell them about me?"
He told me that was a strange question but he'd give it some thought. Later on he said to me, "I know what I'd tell them. I'd tell them you were funny."
YES!!!!!!!!!! That's perfect.
Last year I also asked my 11yr old son the same question. He said “I’d tell them that you THINK you’re funny.”
I LOVE a good laugh. I enjoy making others laugh and be happy.
Many years ago when I was a young adult, we were up in Redcliffe for a young adult conference. It was early morning...maybe 1am. There was a bunch of people already down at the beach so my sister and I along with our friends, walked down to the beach.
The group was there alright. They were sitting on the cement steps that lead down to the beach. I thought it would be so funny if I was to leap over the stairs, right onto the beach in front of everyone and go "BOO"....or something like that. It was going to be soooo funny. I took a little run off and as I hit the top step to jump to the sand, my feet didn't move. Instead of jumping to the sand I fell SMACK onto the cement steps. Hitting each one on the way down. I was on the beach with everyone around me. I decided that was the funniest thing EVER!!! Although I was in pain I saw the funny side of it and to this day I WISH it was on video so I could see it. I joked about the 'beached whale'. I could hardly breathe. It turned out I had broken a few ribs but it was still FUNNY.
The topic of this evening has been "Be of good cheer".
I'd like to think that I am 'of good cheer' altho my daughter would say that I find the negative and make fun of it. For example:
People tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel. In my life it has turned out that the light was a TRAIN!!!!!
Life isn't passing me by.....it's trying to RUN ME OVER!!!!!!!!!!!
People have put their arm around me and said "This too shall pass"....I say "So do kidney stones and they're not much fun either!!!!!!!!!"
So I will accept the negative comment from my daughter. I 'embrace' it.
Three years ago I injured my back and ended up in the ER. They told me I had to stay on my back for a week. I couldn't go downstairs. I couldn't sit up. It was awful. The next week I had a little skin cancer removed from my nose one day, that night my husband and I rolled over in bed at the same time and I got head butted right in the stitches. Blood everywhere. He couldn't drive me because he had no licence, (which is a whole other story!!!!!!) so I drove myself up to the ER. Got home at 3am then got up to teach seminary. Another morning I was walking up to the gate at the chapel to unlock it for seminary and fell over scraping my knee really badly and injuring my foot. By the end of the lesson I could barely walk so it was back up to the ER I went. This was all in the space of TWO WEEK!!!!!!!!! I figured there were three options. 1. I was earning Frequent Flyer Miles. 2. One more visit and I’d get a set of steak knives. 3. Legally change my name to Job. Sure I tried to make light of the situation. I tried to crack jokes but I was sick of it.
There was another time that I came home from teaching seminary and on the way upstairs to my bedroom I said to my husband I QUIT!! I quit being a mother, I quit being a wife, I quit the papers (I help one of my brothers with his paper delivery every week for the past 8 years), I quit...I just quit".
Now nothing had happened in seminary that morning or anything that I can even pinpoint to make me really feel that way or lose it. I had just had it. Of course I couldn't quit. I still had to go down and make sure that the lunches were actually done and that they'd leave the house.
Have ya ever had one of those days?
Sister Hinckley had a delightful sense of humor. She said: "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache" (Virginia H. Pearce, ed., Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1999], 107)
There are many things in this life that cause us to feel stress.
Those of us who have children and are racing around doing lunches and chasing kids to get dressed in the morning and then have a child say "MUM!! What about my cooking??!" (For their home Ec. class) or "MUM! I need the deposit for camp today" or "MUM!! Where are the cookies you said you would cook for our class today?" Sometimes happening ALL in the ONE morning.
Of course husbands and children are not the only causes of stress. There are stresses with work, cars, family relationships, drivers that don't use their blinker, telemarketers calling when you are already happy with your phone company etc. There are also those things "in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see" that many of us deal with ALONE.
I think we have all had worries or things that get us down in our lives but the key is not what this is but how we deal with it..
A lot of the time we may not be able to get rid of what causes us to be down or stressful....ie; the husband or the kids. But maybe we can find ways to help us cope with it.
I'm not talking about overcoming depression. That's a whole 'nother ballgame. I will say that if you feel like you are dealing with depression...GET HELP!!!! Medication has been a God send in my life on more than one occasion.
So the scripture goes: D&C 61:36 And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you;
In the Savior's last discourse to His disciples the first thing He said to them was, "Let not your heart be troubled." (John 14:1) And His closing words were, "Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
Let me tell you a story of someone who is an example of being of good cheer.
In 1993 Pres Hunter was giving a talk at BYU. His talk made the news that night. Not because it was unusual for a church leader to speak at BYU but because while he was giving his talk a guy came up to him at the pulpit and grabbed him. The guy was holding a briefcase and claimed there was a bomb in it. He tried to get Pres Hunter to read a letter he had typed but Pres Hunter refused. The 15 - 17 000 people in the congregation began to sing "We thank thee oh God for a prophet". Finally the man was overpowered and Pres Hunter again began his speech about 'challenges'.
He said: " Life has a fair number of challenges in it........ Indeed, you may be feeling that you have more than your share of problems.
"....... we must not walk on our lower lip every time a few difficult moments happen to confront us.
".......I reassure you that things have been worse and they will always get better. They always do--especially when we live and love the gospel of Jesus Christ and give it a chance to flourish in our lives."
HOW can we be of good cheer then? How can we do it when the world around us seems to be caving in?
I'm not talking about being a Pollyanna and acting like everything is wonderful or drawing a big happy face on as if that's going to take care of everything. There is no sin in being sad or crying when things go wrong. I think the problem comes when we dwell on those things and lose sight of the 'plan of happiness'.
Here's a few ideas. Some of them I have tried. Some of them you will roll your eyes at.....just like I did. But who knows...they just might work. What works for one may not work for another.
• Have realistic expectations for yourself—Heavenly Father doesn't expect you to be the perfect. Just that you are doing 'all you can do'.
• Learn to say "NO"
• Put on makeup.
• Paint your nails.
• Shave.
• Stop and look at a sunset
• Own an outfit that just makes you feel like you look good (a special friend of mine has a 'happy skirt'. It's a cheerful colour and she just feels happy when she wears it)
• Have a hobby (sewing, scrapbooking, blogging).
• Read the Ensign and scriptures.
• Attend the temple.
• Dance like no one is watching.
• Join a gym (I did that once but it didn't work. They didn't explain to me that I needed to actually GO and do stuff!!)
• Girls' overnight trip. (I did this with a group of friends last year. It was good for the soul. I hope to do it again soon.).
• Get online. Join Facebook. Add me as a friend!
• Laugh.
• A tub of chocolate double fudge brownie ice cream and two spoons
• Choose your battles.
* Talk it out with someone who can give you perspective, not just sympathy
* Count your blessings - really name them one by one
* Serve somone else - even in a very small way
* pray "When sore trials came upon you, did you think to pray?"
In spite everything which may be discouraging or frustrating, in spite of anything which causes you to feel lonely or overwhelmed .. . . there is hope smiling brightly before us, and angels WILL attend... help and comfort give us to our journeys end.
Many of you have read or heard about Anne Frank who hid from the Nazis with her family in a tiny space. They were in that cramped situation for over 2 years! They had to remain completely silent from 8:30 am to 6:30 pm every day! In her journal she described their hiding place as "a little piece of blue heaven, surrounded by heavy black rain clouds."
I suppose we can't imagine what her circumstances were like, just as I can't imagine your circumstances nor you mine. But I do know that attitude is a choice. We can create and enjoy "a little piece of blue heaven" even at times when we are "surrounded by heavy black rain clouds." So this year let's keep the 'plan of happiness' in focus which leads us to 'good cheer'.
November 23, 2008
Loving Friends
The other night I was with a number of dear friends for a birthday party. The birthday girl had a lovely idea of having each of us share something (bring for show and tell or just the tell part) that has helped us to feel loved.
There were many lovely things spoken about. How one feels when complimented by a loved one; or when someone brings home gifts that are thoughtful. Some spoke of how their spirituality helps them feel loved, by reading the scriptures or feeling the Holy Ghost, or even by recognizing the 'tender mercies' of the Lord. All these things are beautiful and have helped me to feel love. One friend even mentioned her 'happy skirt' and how it makes her feel good when she wears it.
What I shared was a scrapbook I made (nothing like the scrapbooking they do now...literally a scrapbook that I stuck things in) MANY years ago. I filled it with cards, letters, notes, etc from people who said nice things to and about me. Someone was at my place of work once and wrote a note on the desk calendar...just to say hi...I have kept that for over 20 years. It was a show of love.
In thinking about what I would share with my friends, I came to realize there is a difference between knowing you are loved to 'feeling' you are loved.
I have always known I was/am loved. But that doesn't mean I always FELT loved. I have had times of loneliness that makes me ache. I've had times of hurt where I have wished for the end to come. I think many of us have felt like that, if only for a short a time. If you haven't....well lucky you.
Early in my married life when I was away from all that I had loved, all my family and friends, I was the loneliest I've ever been. A dish of loneliness and newlywed 'bliss'(?) and all the difficulty that can come from discovering the faults in each other. So I was not 'feeling' loved. I would often sit and look through my scrapbook to remind me that I was loved and I could actually 'feel' it too. I would cry...sometimes sob like a baby. It's so good to feel loved.
I got to a point that I didn't need to look at the book as often and when someone would say anything unkind to me I was able to say "It doesn't matter what you say. You can't make me feel bad! I'm a good person and people love me!" Ok it wasn't quite like that but in essence that's what I was saying.
It's easy enough to be loved and not 'feel' loved when our lives are filled with trials and unkindness. We may even have times where friends are few and far between or we are just too busy to enjoy them. I think we need to have something that we can bring to memory that reminds us of the feeling that comes with knowing you are loved. Whether it's a 'happy skirt', a post it note, a scrapbook of cards and notes or some other way.
Here's some songs and a story with a great message. I love them.
Max Lucado writes beautiful stories with wonderful messages. This one is called "You are special"
Book being read.
Cute little play by kids.
ASL version.
Michael McLean has some beautiful songs that are uplifting and inspiring. Just a couple of my favourites are:
You're not alone. (sorry...I could only find them on a facebook page/application. So if you don't have facebook I'm sorry)
If only you believe in yourself.
This song is by Hilary Weeks. She seems to capture just what a woman is feeling...the loneliness, the pull to be Wonder Mum or Super Girl, she gets it and she writes about it in her music.
He'll carry you.
And this one is another one by Michael McLean. I just found it. I hadn't heard it before. It's beautiful. It speaks of the struggles we have that aren't always seen by others and how we need to pull together.
Safe Harbors.
I would hope that during those times we are in need of a 'safe harbor' and need to feel loved, that we remember that we ARE loved.
There were many lovely things spoken about. How one feels when complimented by a loved one; or when someone brings home gifts that are thoughtful. Some spoke of how their spirituality helps them feel loved, by reading the scriptures or feeling the Holy Ghost, or even by recognizing the 'tender mercies' of the Lord. All these things are beautiful and have helped me to feel love. One friend even mentioned her 'happy skirt' and how it makes her feel good when she wears it.
What I shared was a scrapbook I made (nothing like the scrapbooking they do now...literally a scrapbook that I stuck things in) MANY years ago. I filled it with cards, letters, notes, etc from people who said nice things to and about me. Someone was at my place of work once and wrote a note on the desk calendar...just to say hi...I have kept that for over 20 years. It was a show of love.
In thinking about what I would share with my friends, I came to realize there is a difference between knowing you are loved to 'feeling' you are loved.
I have always known I was/am loved. But that doesn't mean I always FELT loved. I have had times of loneliness that makes me ache. I've had times of hurt where I have wished for the end to come. I think many of us have felt like that, if only for a short a time. If you haven't....well lucky you.
Early in my married life when I was away from all that I had loved, all my family and friends, I was the loneliest I've ever been. A dish of loneliness and newlywed 'bliss'(?) and all the difficulty that can come from discovering the faults in each other. So I was not 'feeling' loved. I would often sit and look through my scrapbook to remind me that I was loved and I could actually 'feel' it too. I would cry...sometimes sob like a baby. It's so good to feel loved.
I got to a point that I didn't need to look at the book as often and when someone would say anything unkind to me I was able to say "It doesn't matter what you say. You can't make me feel bad! I'm a good person and people love me!" Ok it wasn't quite like that but in essence that's what I was saying.
It's easy enough to be loved and not 'feel' loved when our lives are filled with trials and unkindness. We may even have times where friends are few and far between or we are just too busy to enjoy them. I think we need to have something that we can bring to memory that reminds us of the feeling that comes with knowing you are loved. Whether it's a 'happy skirt', a post it note, a scrapbook of cards and notes or some other way.
Here's some songs and a story with a great message. I love them.
Max Lucado writes beautiful stories with wonderful messages. This one is called "You are special"
Book being read.
Cute little play by kids.
ASL version.
Michael McLean has some beautiful songs that are uplifting and inspiring. Just a couple of my favourites are:
You're not alone. (sorry...I could only find them on a facebook page/application. So if you don't have facebook I'm sorry)
If only you believe in yourself.
This song is by Hilary Weeks. She seems to capture just what a woman is feeling...the loneliness, the pull to be Wonder Mum or Super Girl, she gets it and she writes about it in her music.
He'll carry you.
And this one is another one by Michael McLean. I just found it. I hadn't heard it before. It's beautiful. It speaks of the struggles we have that aren't always seen by others and how we need to pull together.
Safe Harbors.
I would hope that during those times we are in need of a 'safe harbor' and need to feel loved, that we remember that we ARE loved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)