May 15, 2010

The Human Touch

Recently I had some surgery on my eye. I HATE needles. But more than just hating needles I hate that my surgery was to be performed under local anesthetic. This meant that I was going to be able to hear everything that was going on but worse than that was that because the doctor would have to open my eye from time to time, I was going to SEE things. Things like the scalpel coming at me etc. Things I didn't need or want to see. (Before the doctor started I quickly stopped him and told him that I didn't want to see any of this so he made that possible)

As I was getting prepped I had many nurses come up to me and ask me all the questions. I was sure to let everyone of them know of my fear. One nurse came up to me and introduced herself as Lee. She said her job was simply to hold my hand throughout the ordeal.

From the moment I was wheeled into the OR, Lee was there holding my hand. I was aware, though I couldn't see, of everything that was going on. The cutting, the talking/discussing, the stitching, etc. But the thing that was most important to me and what I actually focused on was Lee and her beautiful hand holding mine. To me, the most important thing happening in that operating room that day was that there was someone holding my hand.

As things would get a little more intense, I felt my hand gripping more tightly onto Lee's hand. When she would feel me squeeze she'd give my hand a reassuring little rub. After she would rub my hand a little...and we're talking a second or two....I was able to relax my grip on her hand.

I'm not sure how long the surgery took, maybe an hour maybe more, maybe less. But what I do know is that, even though I'm a 45 year old mother of 4, I learned that when someone asks "Do you want someone to go with you to hold your hand?", I really do!

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